Friday, April 08, 2011


I've been crawling in my skin all day today, though I can't explain what it really feels like.  There's an uncomfortable nagging, pulling my thoughts away from me and then pushing them back where they belong.  I tried to change my clothes, several times.  That didn't help.  I'm avoiding "soft-pants," as we like to call them in our house, because I want to remain "cute" for Ben.  However, my pants feel tight, and I feel uncomfortable, and I'm sure I'm not portraying sexy at any definition of the word.  Ben was supposed to be home around four this afternoon, he finally showed up around eight.  I had almost given up hope.  Here I am crawling back, not giving up hope, all the time still crawling in my skin.  Is it any wonder his sexual inuendos have no effect on me?  I'll get into the mood, if you know what I mean.  I'm sure I will.

I had to go buy special "you have undesirable hands" lotion today.  Seven bucks, which I don't have... but worth it, hopefully.  Ben accused me of cutting the grass with scissors yesterday, after he noticed my "OCD" hands, which are now cracking open and bleeding at the clench of a fist.  Ha.  I didn't cut the grass by hand, just so you know.  Furthermore, how would he know how much I wash my hands?  He's been here for two hours today.  However, my hands are cracking open and bleeding just a bit, so I gave in and bought the expensive lotion.  Hopefully it helps.

I'm sitting now, at my computer.  Ben is here also, at the kitchen table, looking at his new I-Phone.  It's wonderful that he has a new phone, especially an I-Thingy, and I have to admit I'm jealous, just a bit.  It's pretty comical that I know how to use it better than he.  I'm just going to let him figure it out.  It's also pretty sad that I don't have one.  I don't have any I-Thingies, and the rest of the family does.  It's unexplainable on how I feel left out, considering how the rest of the family arrived at ownership of theirs.

A certain song comes to mind today, especially as we are talking about our evening and how our days progressed.  I ran around like a mad-man, cashing checks and paying bills; depositing money in the bank for the restaurant, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house.  I even met with Garrett and ate lunch with him again.  I had a busy day.

It doesn't compare with an employee coming in so "beyond herself" that Ben had to drive her home and another employee had to follow him in the previous said employee's car... he most appropriately won the Most Exciting Day award, but I think I won the I Got More Accomplished Award.  (When he reads this, I'm sure he'll be upset with me... It's not meant to be a personal attack, it's just my thought process is all.  His day was, after all, more intense than mine, right?)

Ben is in the shower.  I have just another second, and I'm taking it for myself.  I'm going to disengage, relax; because I am avoiding the "soft pants," I'm just going to turn off the lights and get naked.  Here's to the night.

Here I am, crawling in my skin, just barely crawling into my bed.  And there's a song in my head....
how fitting!


  1. Mel, I love reading your stories...you are able to perfectly articulate the "meat and potatoes" of every day life...remember...we are all struggling with something...
    I admire you...