I have written it and re-written it. I am trying to make it interesting to the reader. However, being awake at six in the morning leaves my brain a little foggy, and I am afraid no amount of coffee may bring me to reality very quickly. I am up, early, and I feel like a bazillion dollars. Ben went to work twenty minutes ago... and he will go to work again at three this afternoon. Suck? Yes. My day off? Yes. However, I am sitting at the computer feeling ever hopeful and amazing because Ben only has Friday this week.... He works tonight, and then Friday. Friday he cooks dinner for Robert Parker, and then (if all goes well), he is off the schedule for Press. He will work normal hours (not seventy per week) and he will be home in the evenings.... YAY!
I was thinking last week that Ben and I had to steal away to the mountains or the ocean to a remote town with no people to have time together. I was ready to move from Napa. I thought Napa was draining, that we had become slaves the the work and the phenomenal restaurants and the lifestyle and to money. I planned elaborate trips for two days at a time, trying to steal moments we had to work desperately for. I fought the schools to take the kids out, and bargained with resorts to get a night for free.
This week, Ben had three and a half days off, IN A ROW! Amazing what a little time will do for the soul, for a relationship, for a family. I feel like a new person, I feel like Napa will do. I feel like there is opportunity here to be great and do great things, and not work to complete peril to achieve those things. Last week, afterall, we had a movie night, we had a night where we made chicken noodle soup, homework was done and rooms were clean. I enjoyed doing the laundry with Ben and buying new wash clothes for the bathroom. I enjoyed feeling like I had a family here in Napa. I seriously felt hope, and it was nice.
Of course, now that Ben is working only one job, I will be working more. However, the money at my restaurant is more than sufficient to suffice, and I will make a point to have no less than three nights at home, in a row, each week. My kids will have a schedule that is appropriate and a routine that is consistant. Ben and I will have time together, to make our relationship great... well, greater than it already is.
Napa, maybe it's okay. Maybe it isn't for the long term, I don't really know and can't say for sure. Ben said I could do whatever I wanted. I want whatever makes us happy. I just want time to dwell in the happiness that my family holds.
Now, on to manic monday, Pancakes! I can't wait for my kids to come up those stairs, and to get the next text message from my lovee love. It's six seventeen, and I am happy.
By the way, for those who TRULY know me, get this: Last night was Halloween, and Roxanne never came out. The cheshire cat was shining in the moon, and I smiled back, completely content with my life.
I am so happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment