Olivia and I were driving to the ferry boat today in Vallejo, and I said to her, "Did you ever imagine a year ago that this would be happening today?" She said "No Way."
It's hard for me to belive where I am and where I have come from. I am going to forego the obvious here, and skip the drug-addicted mother and fucked-up early life I have had; I believe we have all had enough of that for the time being. I am going to go to the obvious. I am skipping to the here and now.
Here I am sitting at the computer at damn near two in the morning, and now I am pouring a glass of wine for myself. Here it is two days before my 28th birthday, and I have a lot to say; mind you, none of it is overly-important, but all of it matters. I will keep it simple, to the point. I will avoid the previous entries, and they are meaningless and emotionless in the big picture of the life of Me.
Ben and I live here, in Napa, CA. This was a dream of ours nearly ten months ago, and now it is a reality. We strived hard to be where we are, I now work for the fucking BEST and most popular restaurant on the whole west coast, and it's phenomenal. Ben is overworked (at yet another phenomenal restaurant or three), I am overworked. However, my schedule changes this week, and Ben has plans of being home more also. It's Our hardest sacrifice has been time. To lose something so real is hard. However, six months into Napa, we are feeling ready to take on the next challenge. We have the money, and now we need the time.
Our next challenge is a vacation. After our change of schedule and finances, where should we go? Where can we dissappear for a week to do NOTHING? If you have suggestions, please let me know.
The kids are well, they are growing and reading and getting hurt and being obnoxious and talking too much and making crazy messes of their rooms and wetting their pants at school and screaming over icecream and popcorn; but what more would a mother dream of? My children are generally happy, and in that regaurd I feel like I have won. Yay for that! In the mom department, I have at least a C average, which is better than a D. If I could just get that damn homework done, we'd be fine.
Ben and I? Well, each new day delivers new hope and promise of a future together which I never doubt. He is the love of my life, and no matter what "shit" comes up, we are always there for eachother at the end of the day. It's nice to have a partner, whether it's a parter in partying or in responsibilities. It's nice to have someone who trusts and understands me and all my craziness and unpredictability. I, in turn, trust him. Beyond all of the above, I love him. He loves me. Ben and I were made for eachother.
So, the kids, Ben, and I: We're phenomenal. I am looking forward to my next year of life as I never have before. I am exited to see what I have to offer the world, to offer to the lives of others, to see what will be brought into my life. I have faith, and I am open-minded to possibilities, which seem endless to me right now.
I have every intention of being closer to those around me. I want to be close to my family and take part in activities. I feel like I have made ground in my family functions and relations. I feel like there is understanding where there was none before. Mostly, I want my children to meet Jake and Mark, their second cousins. That would be fun! I am looking forward to my 28th year!
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