I shoud be in bed. Well, I should be brushing my teeth and taking my pills and climbing into my bed, anyhow. I know that sleep would elude and frustrate me, however, and here I sit. Maybe it's the moon. I have never really watched the calendar and the lunar events with regard to my writing. Maybe I should start. My horoscope today told me to avoid machinery. Is my dell inspiron 1525 a piece of machienery? I suppose, but with the name "inspiron" I figure I should be inspired.
I am feeling pretty fucking inspired.
On with it then! Two am, just like old times, and here I am sitting at the computer while my family rests in their beds. I just don't have it in me to sleep. I am having a very good time.
I miss Ben. Our schedules have changed drastically this week, and although I had three nights with him, I am still missing him. Fridays and Saturdays, we don't see eachother. Hmmm. I guess I wasn't thinking clearly when I said yes to this schedule, but three nights are better than none, right? Ben is going to give notice, hopefully this week, and soon he will be home in the evening and he will only work in the morning for a bit. I will have to choose how to make my schedule financially feasible and time-wise sustainable for my family. We'll get it figured out, I am sure.
I had a beautiful birthday with my friends, and going into my 29th (the first one doesn't count) year of life, I am ever hopeful of having a beautiful future in the life I have created. I still have my demons, my dreadful fears, and my insecurities. However, they seem to play less an important roll with each day that passes. I feel like it's time to let go of my past hurts and focus on the here and now; the things that are happening with my family. I hope only to progress from here.
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